


The Etiquette of Screwing Your Jedi

by Millberry_5



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: ADHD Character, Dirty Talk, Etiquette lessons, Free Use, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, implied - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millberry_5/pseuds/Millberry_5
Summary: The 212th have been granted leave on a Republic planet. They've also been offered a wing of the royal palace to house them while on leave. Obi-Wan makes sure his men are prepared to live in a palace for two weeks. The 212th, however, only have so much patience for this kind of preparation.
Relationships: 212th Attack Battalion/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Clone Trooper Character(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 410





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellyjog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyjog/gifts).



> Jellyjog had an itch that I have now partially scratched (which may be like scratching a mosquito bite in this case, sorry ;))
> 
> (Also, shout out to Herothief for getting a name for our lovely viewpoint character! I was very stuck without it)

“So if anyone with the title of marquis or higher greets you indoors during the day, the indoors aspect increases the formality and therefore you should perform the third bow, the Prisilian bow,” General Kenobi continued. How long was this lecture going to take anyways?

He’d said it was just a summarized basic etiquette lesson for their leave, and that they would want to pay attention since the monarch of the planet had graciously given them a wing of the palace to stay in, but this had been going on for almost two and a half hours already.

Puzzle glanced around the room again as Kenobi moved on to the correct greetings for those between barons and marquises. Marquisī? Marquisise? Whatever they were…

Commander Cody was standing at ease in full armor besides and a bit behind the General, appearing attentive and not moving, making Puzzle lend a bit more credence to Longshot’s claim that their commander could sleep standing up and had trained himself to wake up as soon as someone said his name. Waxer was subtly drawing something that he kept showing to Boil, who would pretend to not smile until Waxer would look away. Probably a sketch of the Numa kid everyone from the Ryloth campaign teased them about. Even Ninja wasn’t paying attention anymore, glancing from his notes to General Kenobi, eyes actually glazed over.

The general was still talking and Puzzle couldn’t even concentrate enough to figure out what he was talking about now. He was pretty sure he was going to go insane if he didn’t get to actually _do_ something soon. This was worse than when trainer Bruhl made him do two thousand-piece puzzles.

If he didn’t get a break then something else was going to break.

“And is it the same if we stain a servant’s robes with white wine? Since that wouldn’t really show, sir,” asked a vod behind him. Puzzle swiveled around to see Trip smirking, with Do-over holding his head in hands besides him.

“I said any type of wine, Trip, so yes. They’d clean it differently, but your response should be the same,” General Kenobi responded, rolling his eyes almost fondly.

“And what if it’s something else white?” Explicit called out from the other side of the room, wide grin letting everyone know exactly how he wanted them to take that comment.

Red and Rover, who were sitting on either side of Explicit, glanced at each other before slinking down under the table.

It was a good move, in Puzzle’s opinion, since it meant that they didn’t get hit with General Kenobi’s disappointed, weary look.

Explicit lasted a few seconds before he started looking sheepish.

“Come now, sir, they’re providing us with food, if anything has some sort of cream it could be a concern. And you know we’ll all want to clean and maintain our armor. Oil has a tendency to squirt and shoot out of its bottles. It’s a legitimate question,” Commander Cody drawled from besides their general. Explicit perked up at that, wide grin back on his face.

General Kenobi glared back at his commander, who just stood there, a slight teasing tilt to his bucket. Puzzle felt his respect for Commander Cody grow exponentially with each second he withstood the glare and just seemed to grow more and more amused.

“I also have a question. What’s the proper procedure for bathing each other? Will they consider it rude for us to bathe together? Do we have to do it separately or can we clean each other up and out how we like?” Waxer asked, having finally abandoned his drawing apparently.

Puzzle would have expected Boil to continue his grumpy put-upon act but was instead a bit surprised to see the vod leering at their general beside Waxer.

So, they were actually going to do this? Puzzle felt his leg twitch excitedly at the idea of finally _doing_ something. They usually didn’t push on the no-sex-during-business line, but Puzzle supposed his more experienced vode had determined this no longer counted as business…

“Waxer,” their general warned, apparently not quite willing to declare business done yet.

“And will we really not be able to practice shooting unless we reserve their only firing range? Our deecees shouldn’t be left alone for too long, general. That could lead to performance problems in the field, you know that,” Longshot said, voice excited as the vode around him started leering.

General Kenobi covered his face with a hand and rubbed at his temples, sighing deeply. Commander Cody stepped forward and slung an arm around his shoulders before leaning forward and speaking directly into their general’s ear.

Their general looked up at Cody after a few moments and whispered back. Puzzle and a few others fidgeted, waiting. Would they get to finally end this lecture and have some fun? If their leave was going to be filled with so many manners, then it only seemed fair to Puzzle that they got to have _some_ fun before they got pulled off onto another campaign. Cody leaned back to their Jedi’s ear and said something again, still too low for Puzzle or anyone else to hear.

Finally, they broke their huddle and Cody stepped back.

“The monarch is supposed to be addressed as?” General Kenobi asked. When Commander Cody undid the clasps connecting his helmet to his blacks, a few of the more senior vode perked up. Puzzle wasn’t sure why, but was willing to follow their lead.

“Your majesty,” called out Boil.

“A higher noble?” their general asked again.

“Your grace,” Longshot responded.

“Lower noble?”

“Title and house name,” Red called as he and Rover finally climbed out from under the table.

“You may not _what_ a Booloo’a fruit tree?”

“Climb!” Puzzle exclaimed. He’d been able to pay enough attention to know that.

“Polite well-wish for most circumstances, except small thank yous?”

“May the goddess smile upon your garden,” Ninja said, actually sounding a bit excited beneath his usually iron-clad veneer of neutrality.

“And for small thank yous?”

“Bahlrezsh,” Cody said with perfect pronunciation even through the bucket, before stepping up to their general and wrapping an arm around him.

“Correct. I suppose you have all learned enough to survive our arrival, at least,” Obi-Wan conceded.

“It’s not like we have particular interest in actually interacting with any of them more than necessary. I’m more interested in the correct goodbyes so we can take you back to our quarters as soon as you’ve fulfilled your obligations to the nobles,” Cody commented, moving his hand slowly up their Jedi’s back.

Obi-Wan shivered.

“But since we’ve passed the final quiz, I think we should move this across the hall to celebrate,” Cody continued.

“I suppose that rec room is a better place for you all to go, instead of staying here,” Obi-Wan said, a teasing smile on his face as he feigned innocence and looked around the briefing room that had become a default lecture hall for the 212th.

“Indeed. The couches are such a nice height to bend you over, and that position even leaves your mouth open for use. I think you’ve made it talk enough for today,” Cody continued, voice firm as he started steering Obi-Wan towards the door.

Puzzle bolted up and started following him with the rest of his vode, finally letting his excitement bubble up. The idea of getting to do something this fun for the rest of the day definitely settled his restlessness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter of the leave that Obi-Wan was trying to prepare them for. Ft. a bit more disrespect and actual, explicit sex. Enjoy ;)

“Alright, so I think that everything will be fine if we all make sure that we apologize with the correct reverence, minimize contact with Lady Slorukan and her closer relatives and friends, and make sure that we all don’t do anything else that violates the etiquette rules I provided you all with,” their general said, tone technically neutral, if you didn’t know how to spot the slight tinges of nervousness and disappointment.

The whole thing still seemed ridiculous to Cody. The monarchy had offered to quarter them, as a bit of thanks for the protection the GAR provided. They had accepted. They didn’t need to have anything else added to the relationship between them and their hosts.

Especially not the temporary involvement in court life, as Obi-Wan kept dragging them to, claiming propriety. Especially when it meant dealing with local politics and random nobles, that had never and would never lift a finger directly for or against them, who couldn’t handle a brother speaking in less flowery language to them while they quickly signed at another brother.

“Now, I did make sure to bring down a few pads with copies of the proper etiquette. Since some of you obviously did not read through all of them, I figured we could break into study groups and get everyone caught up before tonight’s feast,” Obi-Wan continued, turning around to face the desk he had put the pads on, checking each one to make sure it had an acceptable amount of battery life left.

Cody heard a few brothers around him groan and felt very tempted to just rub at his temples.

Instead, he stepped forward into Obi-Wan’s space and made sure to put his hands beside Obi-Wan on the desk loud enough that their general had to have heard it. Not that he couldn’t feel Cody’s body heat directly all up and down his back.

As much as Cody disliked walking around without his armor so much, it was nice that direct contact was much easier this way.

So long as they all stayed in the wing they had been given for their stay, where there was scarcely a droid that bothered them, let alone another sentient that wasn’t 212th.

“Cody,” Obi-Wan warned. Cody removed one hand from the desk as compliance, if only so he could wrap it around Obi-Wan’s waist and pull them a little closer.

“Obi-Wan,” he replied, “we really don’t have to do all of that. Any of that.”

He could hear a few murmurs of agreement at that.

“While we aren’t very likely to die if we don’t, Cody, we should all make sure to do what we can to develop positive connections here. For ourselves and the army and the order and the Republic in general,” Obi-Wan said, keeping his voice admirably level. There were a few scoffs mixed in with the groans this time.

“Should we though?” Cody asked, moving his hand above the obi and slipping it into their Jedi’s tunic’s, letting himself explore the familiar flesh there, “we’re here on shore leave. Not a diplomatic mission. Our only job is resting up so we’ll be in good condition for our next deployment. Keeping to ourselves here and making each other relax is much more efficient.” Cody argued back, making sure to state the last bit as the fact it was.

Unless you were Obi-Wan Kenobi, apparently.

“It’s efficient to rest and renew diplomatic relations at the same time,” Obi-Wan said, shifting sideways until Cody’s hand was no longer in his tunics and he could turn around. Cody let him, since moving that far sideways put Obi-Wan up against his other arm and he made sure to only give Obi-Wan enough room to turn around, not turn around without touching and brushing up against him with each movement.

“Not for us. Memorize all of this?” Cody took the one pad Obi-Wan had and held it like a failed prank, “instead of more strategies or GAR regs? Or sounds we can get you to make? Not efficient. Neither is trying to stick us into the local elite’s political intrigue. And it’s not like you actually relax either.”

Obi-Wan scoffed and rolled his eyes. Cody moved them closer together and into the desk in retaliation, forcing Obi-Wan to lean back over it a bit.

“You don’t seriously think that putting on your negotiator mask, playing the humble, oblivious, virginal flirt, and politicking until your face and throat hurt actually relaxes you, do you?” Cody asked, moving a hand to grope their Jedi’s ass without lessening that arm’s restraining capabilities. The move resulted in an indignant sputter that covered whatever else Obi-Wan might have wanted to say.

“As the medical expert who takes better care of your body than you, sir, I can confirm that anything you say that isn’t agreeing with the commander is complete osik,” Jag said as he appeared in Cody’s periphery. Cody grinned a little even as he kept massaging the very nice, combat-toned and vode-approved buttocks beneath his hand.

“I do- it’s important to make sure that we don’t-” Obi-Wan cut himself off when Jag moved in and snaked his hand into Obi-Wan’s tunics with medical precision. Given the widening of their general’s eyes and the shiver Cody could feel, he was almost certain that Jag was already toying with Obi-Wan’s nipple.

“Relax, Obi-Wan. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Those are our orders. And I can think of a few ways for the 212th to relax that you definitely wouldn’t want us doing at any banquets,” Cody said, emphasizing his point with another nice squeeze.

“We still need to apologize to Lady Slorukan and we would still be rude if we didn’t partake in our hosts’ hospitality,” Obi-Wan argued, desperate.

“She’s only a vice-marquis. It’s fine. And we’ll send a missive with a droid that lets them know we won’t be coming,” Cody said, removing his hand from below to quickly sign at Jag.

“That still-” Obi-Wan was cut off again when Jag suddenly removed his arm, leaving Cody free to jerk Obi-Wan around and bend him over the desk, pushing him down into the ornately carved and etched wood, holding him in place by his hips.

“We’ll even throw in a line about how nice and relaxing the accommodations are. Does that sound polite enough?” Cody asked, letting his tone mock Obi-Wan’s propriety and all of this osik in general.

And they would, if only to keep their Jedi nice and compliant for the next few days. If Cody, and the rest of the 212th, had their way then this would be the last time their general got to wear clothes until it was time to leave.

“Well… I suppose…” Obi-Wan said, clearly still torn.

“Come on, general, we haven’t gotten to have any fun since we got here!” a vod to his side said. Cody glanced at the now much closer rest of the 212th and spotted one of the not-quite-shinies-anymore, Puzzle, he was pretty sure, “and you said that we’d have extra special chances to enjoy ourselves and relax here.”

“Well- yes, but,” Obi-Wan started, clearly starting to shift to their point of view, especially as he pressed back against Cody’s hips, but still holding onto unnecessary Negotiator nonsense.

“Don’t worry, Obi-Wan, we’ve tried out the hot springs. And we’ll try them out again, I have some plans for you in them as well. But the men are quite right that you promised relaxation. That you said you were making sure we had some special opportunities,” Cody said, letting his voice drop into a low purr at the end.

Obi-Wan whimpered before breathing out a desperate “yes.”

“So?” Cody continued, pleased to see Obi-Wan’s cute blushing start. He really did like flustering his general, making their Jedi come apart, “we’ve been here for three days already. What exactly do you think we’ll be doing that’s so special and nice for the rest of our leave?” Cody asked.

Obi-Wan shivered again, taking a moment to answer. Waxer and Boil took the opportunity to round the desk and each grab an arm, pinning the hand to desk.

“I… take me, use me, fuck me. Anything you want, please,” Obi-Wan begged, voice half-desperate, half-resigned.

One of Cody’s favorite things about their Jedi, and the force in general, was the way it was so easy to just get a number of vode, like their battalion, teach them how to control how much and what they projected, and set them on the same goal. It was so easy now to just overwhelm their Jedi with lust, just by letting him feel all of theirs.

Just letting Obi-Wan, vaunted Negotiator, high general, Jedi master, know that he was wanted was enough to make him a compliant, needy, partner for them all. He was always quite glad that they were apparently the first to figure it out. He wasn’t ever planning on letting anyone besides the 212th touch their Jedi in this way. Wasn’t going to let Obi-Wan be used by anyone else. He wasn’t even going to want anyone else ever again, not while he had his men to use him how he liked.

And he certainly wasn’t going to bother letting their Jedi get dragged into some backwater planet’s court politics, let alone get the 212th involved.

Cody shook off the thought and focused back on the more important, pleasant matters. He grinned as he ground against Obi-Wan, who was helpless to do anything but moan back at him, thoroughly pinned still by as many hands as could touch him now.

He finally let go of their Jedi, confident that the arms holding the man down wouldn’t let him get away, even if he wanted to. Two more sets of hands appeared when he stepped back to pull down their general’s pants.

He quickly rifled through his pocket and retrieved the bottle of lube he’d been carrying all day with one hand, quickly unzipping the crotch of his blacks with the other. He looked down at their Jedi as he casually lubed up his fingers, taking in the sight. Jag had managed to get a hand under Obi-Wan again, likely already hardening Obi-Wan’s nipples again. His tunics were pulled out to the side a bit, rucked up, but not undone. His obi was pushed half way up his ribcage, leaving their general’s lower back and hips free and bared for the vode to caress and explore.

Completely at the mercy of their whims.

Cody casually slotted his leg between Obi-Wan’s and kicked them aside. Obi-Wan easily gave in and spread his legs for his commander, pushing himself up onto his toes, the only way he could lift his hips.

Obi-Wan’s hole gave way to his fingers with almost no hesitation. A few days of unnecessary stress and lack of sex wasn’t enough to make Obi-Wan’s body forget them. Still, Cody wanted to stretch him a bit this way. There’s was something deliciously obscene about getting to watch his fingers invade their Jedi. To see them manipulate and toy with the high general until he was moaning like he’d never heard of meditation or senatorial duty in his life.

“Cody,” Obi-Wan begged, moaning out his name after he’d reacquainted four fingers with Obi-Wan’s prostate a few times, “Cody- Commander, _please_ ,” he whined.

Cody broke eye contact with Obi-Wan’s ass, looking up to see that there were still enough hands on their Jedi that Obi-Wan couldn’t even look back at him. Most of his vode either had disrobed or were in the process of it, one brother replacing another at holding Obi-Wan down to go strip out of their blacks.

“Yes, Obi-Wan?” he asked, making his voice sound put upon again. Obi-Wan whimpered at the false annoyance.

“Please. Just fuck me. No more balls or feasts or anything, I swear. _Please_.”

“Don’t worry, general, that’s the plan. But you said we could use you however we want. So if I decide to use you for dexterity drills,” Cody emphasized the not-quite-threat by hooking his fingers and tapping the prostate a few more times, garnering him a gasp, “then that’s what I’ll do. And you won’t complain about me using you at all, right?”

Obi-Wan just whimpered in response as he continued to thrust his fingers in and out.

“It’s only fair, general. You kept us from having as nice of a time as we could for the past three days. Even after telling us so many times that you wanted us to have whatever you could provide,” Boil said, coming back to the desk and petting Obi-Wan’s hair. Cody went back to staring at his fingering, content that Boil could finish convincing Obi-Wan to drop the karking etiquette for the rest of their leave, “You’ll be fine with us making sure you get caught up on your promises, won’t you?”

Obi-Wan whimpered before falling silent quickly.

“Whoa there, general. You know the rules. Most senior officers get to use you first before anyone else. If you want to help anyone else that badly, you need to finish helping the Marshal Commander.”

Obi-Wan whimpered again, and Cody glanced up to see he was struggling to arch his back and twist around. The arms and hands still on him weren’t having it, however. Some even used the tunics and obi to pin him down more thoroughly.

“Please, _Cody_.”

Cody hummed, as though he was pretending to actually have a preference between bland ration bars in the canteen, before responding, “I don’t know, I’m quite enjoying my dexterity exercises. Is there really anything better I could be doing that you can think of?”

Cody watched a bit of a blush appear on the bits of Obi-Wan’s neck and ears that he could see and knew that the next few days would be very _very_ enjoyable for them.

“You could fuck me. While your brothers hold me down. Make me scream and moan anything for you. You could use me and then pass me off to your brothers. You could join them after you take me alone. Pin me down or tie me up or make me do all of the work. You could push all the way inside me and claim me. You could make me drip your cum all down my legs and make me thank you for it. You could-”

Obi-Wan interrupted himself with a startled cry as Cody finally thrust in, all the way in one go, deep and hard and quick.

He set a hard, unrelenting pace. As fun as it was to tease Obi-Wan, the man still possessed a silver-tongue. And he’d risen to Boil’s challenge quite well to give Cody those kinds of images in that voice.

Obi-Wan started babbling incoherently at the harsh treatment. He didn’t exactly understand Obi-Wan’s desire to be so thoroughly and carelessly used, but he had certainly come quickly to appreciate it since Obi-Wan became is Jedi.

At some point Boil put his fingers in Obi-Wan’s mouth to help relieve some of the man’s begging, resulting in more lascivious moans than actual attempts at words. Cody assumed that their general was also taking careful time to lick and suck at the fingers, as he was in the habit to do as soon as he was able.

Cody pounded in and out until he could feel himself on the precipice. He gave Obi-Wan’s ass a squeeze, making the man tighten down on him like he’d been trained to do. The additional friction was enough to make him cum where he had stopped half-in.

The act of coming in Obi-Wan, their Jedi, their general, always felt sacredly debauching. To mark him like this, possess him in this way, even for a moment, was an obscene profanity and a high honor simultaneously. And Obi-Wan invited them to do it as often as they wanted.

Most of the time, at least. When he wasn’t caught up in usually frivolous Negotiator duties. The senate didn’t need Obi-Wan as often as they called him. They didn’t seem to actually need to do half the things they did, according to Fox.

Cody made sure to give Obi-Wan’s ass, so nice and firm, a rewarding double pat for finally letting go and giving in to what would be actual good use of leave time, before pulling out completely. He was very interested in taking only a small step back and squatting down to watch a bit of his cum to trickle out of Obi-Wan’s hole.

It wasn’t dripping, for all that it was better to see it than just hear Obi-Wan talk about it. But Cody was confident that Obi-Wan would be dripping sooner rather than later. He indulged himself by swiping a finger through his cum and smearing it on Obi-Wan’s ass, giving one last squeeze.

Cody stood up and stepped back, letting his vode step in to take their turns. Boil was already breaching Obi-Wan’s mouth as he turned to finally rid himself of his clothes, leaving Obi-Wan to the battalion’s mercy as hands continued to pin the moaning man down.

The poor man had such a hard time, always needing to be used. It was a good thing there was an entire battalion willing to use him. They always managed to tire him out eventually. One man versus an entire battalion was a predetermined victory, after all. A pity that Obi-Wan sometimes lost long before everyone who wanted a turn got one, which he expected to happen a few times on the rest of this leave.

A good thing that Obi-Wan never complained when they finished up anyways, just moaned until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried, Jellyjog, I really tried. But disrespectful 212th to Obi-Wan outside of an official scene is apparently out of my purview lol


End file.
